


Marble Glass

by locolotions



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 07:10:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11286246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locolotions/pseuds/locolotions
Summary: Kwon Jiyong was 12 when everything has changed.





	Marble Glass

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted in AFF as well but I wanted to post it here too. Not Beta-ed and English is not my first language so I hope you're okay and fine with it.

Jiyong was 12 when first met Seungri. Seungri, or Lee Seunghyun, was his new neighbour, and a hyperactive kid. Jiyong dislike it. He prefer quiet, calm kids over a noisy, obnoxious one. So Jiyong avoided him, he thought he succeeded in avoiding the younger one. And Jiyong couldn't help but think how ridiculous his nick name was. Seungri, really?

But he was wrong, oh so wrong.

Seungri kept bugging him. He kept asking Jiyong the books that the older read, or the things that he wrote. Everything, and it annoyed the hell out of Jiyong. But Seungri was only a kid, and Jiyong was 2 years older than him, so like it or not he had to be patient with Seungri. Besides, Seungri's mother was close with his mother. And getting scolded by his mum for making the boy cried was the last thing he wanted.

——————

Jiyong was 13 almost 14 when finally he stopped avoiding Seungri.

Yes, he had been avoiding the boy because he didn't want to fight the boy (it was too troublesome and honestly, a waste of time.) And the reason he stopped avoiding Seungri was because Seungri had finally stopped being a hyperactive kid. But in return he became a little bit too over-confident and cheeky.

And Jiyong jut realised how smart Seungri actually was, when he accidentally saw Seungri's report card (or more like showinh it off to Jiyong for God knows why.) He could say that because he knew Seungri literally play 24/7 and he rarely study (Jiyong's room was right in front of Seungri's room and Seungri rarely— scratch that, never, close his windows. So he knew what Seungri do everyday, and he wasn't going to tell the details.)

Jiyong turned 14 and Seungri threw a box through Jiyong's window, almost knocking down his photo frame. Jiyong glared at him but Seungri only laughed, which pisses Jiyong even more.

"Open it, hyung!"

He grumbled but he did it, nonetheless.

Inside was a pair of mittens and a pastel orange scarf. He looked at Seungri and he could see Seungri was grinning like winner, like he just won a competition. And for the first time Jiyong realised how beautiful Seungri was under the moonlight. He never noticed, after all.

"You'll need that. It's almost winter!"

Jiyong was 14 when he first received a gift personally from Seungri and it was also the first time his heart skipped a beat at the look of Seungri.

 ——————

Jiyong was 15 when Seungri stayed over his house.

They weren't close, but they were on a much more friendlier term. Since his 14th birthday, Seungri kept trying to talk to him. Not that Jiyong hates it. He actually kinda like it. Seungri wasn't like Youngbae, his childhood friend, who was nice, soft, caring, a total mother-hen when Jiyong told him his problems. Seungri was more like his 'party' friend. Once Jiyong accidentally told Seungri his problem, and Seungri only said, 

"You know what? Let's just play! C'mon, hyung. You need a refreshing!"

So yes, that was Seungri. He was easy like that.

Because now they were on talking term, Seungri's mother decided it was okay for her to let Seungri stay over with him while she was gone with her husband.

Sure, Jiyong didn't hate Seungri anymore, but he was still not that comfortable with the boy either. There was something about Seungri that made Jiyong nervous, fidgety. And he hated it.

But it seems it wasn't like that on Seungri's side. He was happy, excited even. Jiyong will never understand the boy, and without realising it he just blurted it out.

"Why are you so excited staying with me? It's not like we're close."

He was sure he would regret saying that but Seungri's answer surprised Jiyong.

"Yeah we're not. But I will make sure we are after this."

Seungri grinned at him and it made Jiyong's heart beat a little bit too fast. He shouldn't felt that way, but he thought, hey, what's the harm? Besides, maybe liking Seungri wasn't so bad.

——————

Jiyong was 16 turning 17 when he realised he was in love with Seungri without knowing it.

It all started when Seungri announced that damn news.

"Hyung, I got a girlfriend."

Jiyong felt like he was hit by a speeding truck, his body crushed. His throat suddenly felt too dry and so was his lips. Was the weather this hot? Honestly, he had no idea why he felt that way, and he didn't like it.

He smiled curtly at Seungri and asked as polite as he could to him.

"Oh? Who's this lucky girl, hm?"

Seungri smiled so wide Jiyong felt like he was looking at the sun directly. He hated it.

"Her name is Yoon Ha. My classmate." 

And never in his life Jiyong hated someone so much he could kill them. He felt betrayed somehow. This whole time, he was basked in Seungri's attention. After the first time Seungri stay over at his place, they became close. So close that even his mum teased him about it. But suddenly this Yoon Ha girl waltzed in to his life (or Seungri to be more specific) and took Jiyong's spot.

Yoon Ha was now Seungri's main attention. Jiyong was no longer Seungri's main attention. And Jiyong hated that. He didn't like sharing, especially this.

"She's so pretty, hyung. And she's so cute and— ah! Perfect!"

Seungri sounded so lovesick it made Jiyong wanted to vomit. Maybe he wouldn't if it was Jiyong who Seungri talked about, but it was Yoon Ha so Jiyong wanted to puke.

Jiyong only snorted at that and left Seungri. The younger whined at him but he couldn't care less. He didn't want to see Seungri's face for now and it wasn't like Seungri tried to catch him up anyway.

(A small part of Jiyong wished he would, though.)

Seungri and Yoon Ha lasted for a total 4 months. Seungri just shrugged it off. And Jiyong was glad.

——————

Jiyong was 18 when he first saw Seungri kissing another girl.

He was on his way home and that was when he saw Seungri walking together with a girl, holding hands, giggling to each other and finally Seungri kissed her. The sight made Jiyong's chest tightened but there was nothing he could do.

Nothing.

After Yoon Ha, Seungri began some kind of dating spree. He dated lots of girls and not to mention he was popular at school. So finding a girl wasn't so hard. He dated so many girls and it hurts Jiyong so much.

One day he asked Seungri why he did that.

"I just want to find 'the one', hyung. Don't you want to find 'the one' as well?"

It was such an innocent question, and yet it hurts. It hurts so much Jiyong could only laugh.

"Haha. 'The one' for me isn't the one for me, Seungri-ah."

Seungri raised an eyebrow, confused at Jiyong's answer. Of course he was confused. He didn't understand what Jiyong means. And Jiyong was fine that way. Seungri didn't need to understand, after all.

"If she's not 'the one', then she is not the one. Why do you still refer her as 'the one'? That's confusing."

Jiyong laughed dryly at that.

"Because, that person would be the only one for me. That person is 'the one' for me. But I'm not 'the one' for that person. It's one sided."

Seungri nodded, as if he understood what Jiyong meant. Even if he didn't, Jiyong didn't mind. It was better that way, anyway.

"If you say it like that, wouldn't that mean you'll suffer forever, knowing that you're not that person's 'the one'?"

"Sometimes, in life, not all story had to have a happy ending. Some are meant to have a sad ending."

——————

Jiyong was 19 when he finally no longer a high school student.

Seungri was still stuck in high school, and he was a little bit glad with that. Maybe he could move on from Seungri. He was pretty optimistic about it.

He decided to rent an apartment near the university he attended, and Seungri whined. "But that means I can't meet you everyday, hyung!" Jiyong rolled his eyes, half amused and half pissed. Seungri got his girlfriends and tons of friends anyway, it wasn't like he mattered.

"You're 17 already. Stop whining. And you have like, what? Tons of friends. Besides, you rarely hang out with me again. So no big deal."

Seungri pouted cutely and it annoyed Jiyong on how much that pout could affected him. 

"I thought you love me."

Jiyong couldn't help but snorted at that. Hard.

"Oh?"

"I love you."

And Jiyong choked his own spit. Suddenly he couldn't breathe, and his mind was a mess. Seungri said he loved him. Maybe as a friend? Or more? There was nothing wrong hoping it to be more, right?

"Seung—"

"As a friend, duh. You looked like you just saw a ghost. Did you really think I would confess to you?"

And suddenly he felt like he was thrown a bucket of ice, back to reality. Of course Seungri wouldn't like him that way. Impossible, no way. Hell would freeze and heaven would be on fire if Seungri returned his feelings.

He flicked Seungri's forehead and forced a smile. He felt so, so sick right now. All he wanted just to go to his room, covering himself with his blanket and cry.

"Brat. Don't be so cheeky. I'm gonna leave now."

Jiyong didn't remember what happened after that. All he knew that he was on the train, silently crying.

——————

Jiyong was 21 when Seungri moved to his apartment.

Seungri somehow managed to attend the same university as he was, and truth to be told, Jiyong had no idea whether he should be happy or angry. And apparently Seungri was going to live with Jiyong for a while until he could find another apartment. 

Jiyong was against it, but his mother kept guilt tripping him and kept saying things like 

"You're close with him!"

"I thought you're close with him?"

"Jiyong, you knew him for almost 9 years already."

And lastly

"Both of you could pay the apartment together! That way it would be much more efficient, right?"

He knew his mother were right, and he hated it because his mother were so right he couldn't even argue with her anymore.

So there Seungri was, at his apartment, living with him. He was so stressed somehow he ended up smoking. Seungri didn't know, though.

And Seungri caught him smoking at the veranda.

"Hyung, you smoke?"

"Only when I'm super stressed."

"It's not good for your health."

"I know."

Seungri would sometimes crinkled his nose in disgust when Jiyong smoke, and Jiyong couldn't care less. He just hoped Seungri would be so disgusted with Jiyong he would move.

Living with Seungri was a huge mistake. Jiyong though he could handle it, though he would be okay. But he wasn't. He was not okay. Instead of hating Seungri more, he actually loved Seungri even more.

Seungri was so clumsy, and Jiyong hoped Seungri's clumsiness would made him hate the younger. But instead, he find it endearing. Damn him and his soft heart when it comes to Seungri.

Jiyong was dying. He pretty much already knew everything about Seungri by now, and he hated it. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Jiyong was 21 when he became an active smoker.

——————

Jiyong was 22 when he heard Seungri fucking a girl.

It was in the middle of the night, and Jiyong couldn't sleep because he had to finish this assignment or his professor would kill him. He was trying his best to focus, really he did. And when he was about to write a theory about the socialist economy system, he heard someone entered the apartment.

It must be Seungri, he was sure. 

Seungri, as he expected, was a social butterfly. He had tons of friends and he party 24/7. Seungri should be glad he got the brains or else he would fail all of his classes with his terribly managed schedule.

Seungri always came home late, and it was by now a routine. But tonight was different. Jiyong could hear another person's voice. And it was a girl.

Seungri brought a girl to their apartment.

Jiyong tried to ignore them, although he could hear the girl shamelessly moaning. He also could hear Seungri groaned and kissing the girl. 

Basically he could hear them having sex.

Jiyong was a good guy, he really was. But this was taking it too far, and this was his apartment to begin with. So he was free to do what he want.

He got out from his room, and turned on the light. And when the light was turned on, he could clearly see Seungri fucking the girl on his sofa. Jiyong could clearly see Seungri buried deep inside that girl and that was the last straw.

"Hyung—"

"That girl's out or I will be kicking both of you out. Your choice, Lee Seunghyun."

Seungri looked at him in horror and before he could say anything, Jiyong left them and went to his room again. He also made sure he slammed the door hard.

He just couldn't stand it. It fucking hurts and Jiyong felt his heart clenching so hard it might bled. He hated Seungri, he hated that bitch he fucked, he hated himself and his damn heart.

He covered his heart with a bandage, with a hope it would ease the pain a bit.

——————

3 years passed since that incident and Jiyong was 25 when he finally finished college and Seungri decided to move out.

In 3 years their relationship was very rocky. Seungri rarely went home and it both relieved and frustrated Jiyong. As much as he was pissed at Seungri, he missed the boy. And it didn't help the fact that Seungri changed. A lot.

It was like puberty hit him hard and now Seungri was hot as fuck.

Seungri used to be small, shorter than him. But now he was an inch taller, his shoulder broader than Jiyong. He matured so perfectly that Jiyong couldn't help but falling even deeper for him.

While he was too busy cursing at Seungri in his mind, Seungri came to the apartment.

"Hyung."

Jiyong's train of mind was disrupted and he looked at Seungri.

"Seungri."

Damn it, why did Seungri had to be this hot now? God was so cruel to him.

"What do you want?"

Seungri only smiled sheepishly at him.

"I'm moving out with Yoon Ha."

Jiyong took his pack of cigarette, and light it up.

"Yoon Ha. That girl that you dated when you were 14?"

Seungri nodded.

"Yeah, her. I met her again at a café nearby. And we had a talk. Turns out she still liked me. And to be honest, me too. I really miss her. I think she's 'the one'."

Jiyong didn't comment, he only let out a puff of smoke. What should he say, anyway?

That he was happy for him?

That he was glad he finally found her?

That he was excited that Seungri moved out?

"Maybe I don't want you to move out." He said quietly. And he was more than glad that Seungri didn't hear that or choose to ignore it.

"So, what do you think hyung?"

Jiyong puffed out another smoke and only stared at Seungri.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want to be with her."

"And there you have it. It's your life, Seungri-ah. You don't need my permission."

Seungri blushed a little, and it pissed Jiyong off because his damned heart beat a little faster at that.

"It's just, you know. You're very important to me, and—"

"Seungri."

"Y-yes?"

"Just stop."

And he did.

——————

Jiyong was 26 when he decided he will live like a nomad, just so he would be so busy he wouldn't think of Seungri.

It was also his way to get away from the younger. His heart was to the point almost bursting if he kept seeing him.

He changed his number too, just so Seungri couldn't contact him. But he told Youngbae and his mother, because he knew they would be worried sick if he didn't contact them at least once a week.

His life was good, to be honest. He travelled here and there, and he learned so many things he never knew he could actually learned.

\-----

5 years passed and he didn't have any contact with Seungri, and he was glad. He was sure now he was ready to face Seungri. He was 31 now and he was sure Seungri would probably already got married and live a happy life even without him.

But of course, life wasn't fair like that.

One night when he was in Japan, he got a call. He had no idea who it was, so he answered it without hesitation.

"Hyung."

Suddenly his heart ached so bad.  
He knew that voice very well, too well, even. And he thought he was ready to face him. But he was so wrong. 5 years didn't heal his wound, it only made it worse.

"Seungri."

He could hear Seungri laughed, and God how much he missed that laugh. He really missed it. Fuck, he missed Seungri so bad right now, and Seungri only said 'hyung'.

"Fuck you, hyung. Why didn't you tell me that you changed your number?"

'To avoid you, duh. What else?'

"Sorry, I forgot. So why did you call?"

"Seriously? No 'How are you' or something like that?"

Jiyong could imagine Seungri pouting cutely, and Jiyong wished he could kill his brain right now.

"I don't have a lot of time, Seungri."

He lied.

"Yeah, right. So I was just wondering... Ugh, you see. I'm engaged. To Yoon Ha. And I want you to be my best man. Because... You're my hyung, and I always wanted you to be my best man, y'know?"

Fuck that hurts. For a moment Jiyong couldn't breathe and he thought he was going to collapse. 

"Thought you're married already."

"No way! I'm not gonna marry if you're not my best man!"

Jiyong really wished he could die right now. This conversation was killing him and his heart. Damn Seungri and damn his heart.

"Fine. I'm going back to Korea. Just tell me the date."

"I will just text you all the details. And, thanks again, hyung. You had no idea how much this means to me."

Jiyong could only laugh bitterly.

"You're right, I really had no idea."

Jiyong didn't remember who hang up first, him or Seungri. But he was sure it was him because he could no longer hold his tears.

He cried himself to sleep that night, knowing he would never be the one kissing Seungri later during the wedding.

——————

The wedding day was finally here. He wore a white tuxedo, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. The damn tuxedo was suffocating him, or maybe it was just him. His mother made a fuss about it earlier and he rolled his eyes.

"It's not my wedding."

"But it's Seungri's wedding!"

"So?"

"So you had to dress properly."

"Do I have to?"

"... Jiyong... Look, I—"

"I get it. Just, hurry up."

 Suddenly someone tapped on his shoulder and when he turned around, he held his breath.

Seungri looked stunning. Dashing, charming, handsome in a white suit. His hair styled and fuck he looked so good Jiyong was sure this is some kind of punishment.

Jiyong had to remind himself that Seungri would be Yoon Ha's husband not his and that did the trick.

"You look good, Seungri-ah."

"You too, hyung."

Seungri smiled happily and it was so genuine it made Jiyong's heart' fluttered. 

The ceremony started and honestly it was a blur for Jiyong. He couldn't remember much, and not that he wanted to remember anyway. He was attending his one sided love's wedding, and as his best man, nonetheless. So it was damn okay for him not wanting to remember it.

He excused himself to the toilet when it was exchanging vow part. He keep apologising but honestly, he didn't feel the slightest guilty. He didn't want to ruin the ceremony by crying in front of Seungri and his wife, right?

One hour later and finally he left his sanctuary (the toilet) and everyone was dancing by now.

He wanted to leave so badly, but he would hurt Seungri's heart. As much as he hated Seungri, he loved him even more and he didn't want to see Seungri sad.

He walked around aimlessly, trying to avoid bumping Seungri and his wife, and that was when he spotted Youngbae.

"Bae."

"You look terrible."

"Thanks for reminding."

They went silent after that. And it was Youngbae who started talking again.

"Seungri—"

"Don't."

"... Okay."

He honestly had no idea how Youngbae and his mother knew about his not-so-subtle crush with Seungri. But that didn't matter now. 

He looked at Seungri, who was dancing so happily with his wife. A very wide smile plastered to his face, and his eyes were very warm, looking at his wife very fondly.

Those eyes and smile weren't for him, and would never be directed for him, never. He laughed bitterly. 

He was 31, and yet here he was, being bitter about someone's happiness. He was happy and that Seungri's happy, but he was also sad, and a little bit angry, and he wasn't the reason why Seungri's happy.

"It's time to let it go, Jiyong."

He was 31 and he decided to let everything go.

——————

He was 32 when Seungri called him, saying that he would be a father.

Jiyong laughed a little, congratulated him, saying a few things like how Seungri would be a great father and such, and as he was going to hang up,

"You will be his godfather."

And that sliced Jiyong's heart even more.

Seungri must be a sadist, and Jiyong was a masochist. When will Seungri stop, honestly?

"I see. I'm so glad I could be your child's godfather."

He hang up abruptly and threw his phone away, luckily it didn't broke (he wished it would, though.) His eyes stung, and he was trying his best not to cry. He already decided to let go. He couldn't do this. He should be happy. Because Seungri was happy.

He put another bandage to his heart, in hope it would covered the wounds.

——————

9 months flew so fast and here he was, looking at Seungri's son. He was so tiny, and so cute. Jiyong didn't want to touch the baby, though. He was scared.

"So, what's his name?"

Seungri smiled proudly.

"Lee Yoongi."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Yoongi?"

"It was actually a combination of your name and Yoon Ha's name. I'm so smart right?"

Suddenly he couldn't breathe.

Seungri then took his baby, carrying it carefully and yet full of adoration. "You and Yoon Ha are so important in my life, and I just... Can't express it, how much you two meant for me! And—"

Seungri didn't manage to finish his sentence because Jiyong suddenly ran away, no longer could contain his tears.

Seungri was cruel, and a sadist. He shouldn't have did that.

'But I will never be important like Yoon Ha.'

He just ran to his car, and drove straight to his house. He couldn't take it anymore, that was enough. Seungri shouldn't have named his baby with Jiyong in mind. It was his baby. Why did he do that?

When he arrived, he opened the door as fast as he could and his mind was such a mess he didn't realise he knocked out his marble glass.

The marble glass shattered into pieces, the sound was so deafening somehow, and Jiyong just stared. Suddenly he laughed. He laughed so hard he cried. He was tired. Really tired.

He thought about the Marble glass he just broke. It was in a shape of a heart, and it was shattered into pieces, impossible to be fixed. How ironic, he thought.

Because that was the condition of his heart right now, shattered and impossible to be fixed.

——————

Seungri was terrible. 

He kept asking Jiyong to watch his son, to watch Yoongi while he was away. Not that he hated the boy but he just couldn't stand seeing him.

5 years has passed and he live his life as best as he could. He stopped travelling because his mother insisted him to stay and Seungri begged him as well.

"Who will take care of Yoongi when I'm away?"

Damn Seungri and Jiyong's weak heart when it comes to Seungri.

Yoongi was 5 years old by now, he grew up fine. He looked so cute, and he was close to Jiyong for God knows why. He couldn't handle kids (but Seungri said otherwise and it irked Jiyong.) Yoongi liked to draw, and Jiyong must admit, for a 5 years old child his drawing was actually good.

One day Seungri like usual, dropped Yoongi off and went on a date with his wife (a date, Seungri said. How ridiculous.) He was 37 and still a bachelor, he became bitter and once Seungri joked how Jiyong was going to die alone, sad and bitter.

Yoongi was drawing and Jiyong watched the TV, switching channels because there was nothing interesting.

"What do you think?" He suddenly heard Yoongi asking, and he looked at Yoongi. The boy showed him a drawing of a family (who he assumed his family.) There was two tall man, a woman, and a child.

"Why is there two guys?"

"It's you and dad."

Jiyong laughed and ruffled the boy's hair. "I'm not your family." The boy pouted so cutely and it reminded Jiyong of Seungri and his heart ached dully.

"To me you are. You're important."

'That's kids for you. So blunt and honest.'

"Thank you, Yoongi."

As he was going to watch the TV again, Yoongi pulled his hand.

"Mum said he wanted to have a baby again."

Jiyong freezed at that, not knowing why he was shocked at that statement. He shouldn't, though. Seungri was a great dad, he should at least have 3 children. But the thought of Seungri having another child pained Jiyong and Jiyong had no idea why because he thought his heart already broken from the start.

Such a wonder human heart was.

"And what did your father said?"

Yoongi tilted his head slightly.

"He said no because he doesn't want to hurt you. I don't understand."

Seungri didn't want to hurt him.

Realisation hit Jiyong so hard he never knew that his already broken, shattered to pieces heart could still hurt, because damn it hurts, and he could feel his eyes stung so bad. Without realising he cried.

Yoongi panicked and hugged him, asking why Jiyong suddenly cried. The boy kept asking Jiyong not to cry and he didn't mean to make him cry.

Jiyong could only hugged the poor boy tightly, so tightly he knew he was choking the boy. But he couldn't stop the flowing tears and he heart ached so bad, Jiyong just wanted to rip his heart from his body.

He was 37 when his heart and feeling died.

——————

Kwon Jiyong had lived his life pretty decently, if anyone asked. He got good income, a great friends, minus a partner.

He was totally fine with it. He didn't need one, anyway. He also started to raise a cat because at least he have someone (or something) to accompany him. He named the cat Ai and he loved her so much already.

Yoongi was now 7 years old and he was already a first grade student. Time flew so fast or maybe it was just Jiyong. Seungri still liked to dropped the boy at his house and by now Jiyong was totally fine with it. The boy was smart and witty, kind of remind him how Seungri was when he was a kid.

He finally made peace with his heart. He had decided to really actually let go of Seungri and just enjoy his damn life. The dull ache was still there, though. Not completely gone because it was never that easy to just move on. But he was trying, slowly. And he was sure he made a progress.

He used to avoid Yoon Ha, but now he talked to her every time they met. That was a progress, right?

His life was decent, and he liked it. Not fully but he didn't hate it. Maybe it was because he was almost 40, or maybe because was just simply to tired to be hurt or pained.

He thought he could no longer feel pain, because pain was like an old friend to him, no longer he resent them. He welcomed them with a warm embrace.

That was what he thought.

One day he said he couldn't take care of Yoongi because he had a sudden urgent meeting, and Seungri apologised to him because Seungri keep relying on him. Not that Jiyong hated it because Yoongi was a great company to him, and he was okay with Seungri relying on him. That means he still need Jiyong, right?

Jiyong already accepted the fact that Seungri would never be his.

So to compensate, he would at least make Seungri relied on him. He was broken like that.

He had an urgent meeting  at Japan and he had to go. So he went to Japan, to finish the matter.

It was a good day, nothing extraordinary happened, it was just work being a bitch.

And suddenly his phone vibrated. He excused himself for a moment and answered the call. He thought it was something important because he saw it was the police who called him. So of course he had to pick it up. It might be something urgent, right? Maybe his house was being robed, who knows.

Or so he thought 

Jiyong never knew he could run that fast. He should've became an athlete if he knew.

The meeting was forgotten and without realising it he was already in Korea, rushing to the police station.

When he entered the station he could see Yoongi, covered in a blanket, looking lost and crying. He directly went to the boy and hugged him, and let Yoongi cried on his shoulder.

The police explanation was a blur for him. He only heard 'a speeding truck', 'drunk driver', and 'Seunghyun and Yoon Ha tried their best to protect Yoongi.'

He couldn't care less about that. He had enough of it.

For almost an hour the police explained the chronology of the accident, but his mind was just too distracted. After they were done, he brought Yoongi to his house, bathed the boy and changed his clothes. He also gave Yoongi a bread to eat with a glass of warm milk. And asked the boy to watch some random cartoon on the TV.

After he was done, he sat on the chair, thinking about what just happened.

Seungri and Yoon Ha got into an accident. Only Yoongi survived. And that was when realisation struck him.

Seungri was no longer here.

There will be no Seungri visiting him.

Seungri died.

It felt so surreal, if you asked him. He still couldn't believe this. He couldn't even think about it. His body felt numb, and his heart hurts so bad. What did he do to deserve this kind of bullshit? 

He took his phone out, just to check what time was it, and that was when he saw it. Seungri had sent him a message. A voice message. He didn't knew, and he was so scared to check it. He didn't want to hear it, but he knew he had to. He must.

_"Hyung? It's me. I know it's weird to send you a message when I just called you half an hour ago. But, I just need to say it. Thank you so much, hyung. For everything. You're just too nice for me, and seriously get a wife. You need one. Have you seen yourself on the mirror? You looked terrible."_

Jiyong could only snorted at that.

_"And... I just wanna say sorry. Y'know, for everything. I didn't mean it. I know that sounds stupid, but I really mean it when I say that... Hyung, you're really important for me, you really are."_

Jiyong was trying his best not to cry. Nope, he promised he wouldn't cry again. Especially if it was Seungri. God knows how much he wasted his tears for the damn boy.

He thought that was all, until suddenly he heard it. Seungri's beautiful laugh. Jiyong's heart did a flip, and it was a wonder how the damn thing was still beating.

_"I love you."_

Seungri's voice was so clear and soft, so warm like he actually mean it. And it hurts. Damn fucking much. Seungri was dead and he still somehow manage to did this kind of shit to Jiyong. 

His breath hitched and he just let all the tears flow down. That was it. He could no longer say it. Everything was suddenly a bit too much for Jiyong and Jiyong wish he was the one who died instead of Seungri.

It seems Yoongi noticed the sniffling and he went to Jiyong, hugging the man like he knew. Jiyong felt so pathetic crying in front of a 7 years old kid but he just couldn't bear it anymore. 

Kwon Jiyong was 39 when everything has ended.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn. Seriously people should try Ao3 because Ao3's layout is way better is simpler. And this fic was inspired by Scarecrow's Lullaby by OrangePlum. Try reading it~ this is just basically nyongtory ver of it.


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